Is There Conflict in Your Relationship and Your Partner Refuses to Help?


  • Do you feel alone because you want help and your partner won’t attend couples counseling?
  • Do you have things you want to change about yourself to help your relationship?
  • Were you in a toxic relationship and want to learn how to choose a better partner?

Relationships in conflict can leave both partners feeling isolated and angry. When one partner is insistent on getting help and the other partner refuses it can leave you feeling alone, unloved and confused. When miscommunications lead to consistent arguments you may feel unheard or unimportant to your partner. The relationship that you remember having seems to have disappeared and you feel like something may be wrong with your relationship, your partner or yourself.

You may be angry with your partner for refusing the help that you so badly want to seek out. Perhaps you feel frustrated that you are taking on solving your relationship problems without any help from your loved one. You may feel stuck and unsure of what you can do but going to therapy alone seems like a scary and unfair option.

Many Relationships are Not Equal

Many relationships go through ups and downs, and both partners aren’t always going to be on the same page. For some, going to therapy can be a very intimidating and foreign experience. Pushing your partner into going to couples counseling when he or she is not ready may not be helpful for your relationship. Forcing your partner into attending with you, or giving an ultimatum is likely to lead to your partner to feel closed off during sessions. One partner being closed to therapy may lead to a continuation or escalation of conflict.

In every relationship there may come times when one partner is trying harder than the other. Right now it may feel like you are the partner giving the relationship more effort, and you may begin to question you or your partner’s commitment. You may be angry with your partner and feel overwhelmed by the amount of effort you are giving to your relationship. You cannot change your partner, but you can gain insight on your relationship and grow as an individual. Going for couples counseling alone can influence your relationship while also helping to decrease the stress you are experiencing.

Therapy Can Help You Make Changes that Will Have a Lasting Influence On Your Relationship

All couples go through ups and downs, and the therapists at Alkira have extensive experience working with individuals and couples in different stages of their relationship. If you are currently in a relationship and your partner is refusing to attend couples counseling you can still go on your own. The compassionate therapists at Alkira can work with you on individual goals that may influence changes in your relationship. By learning more about yourself and how you are in relationships you can begin to make changes that will influence the way you interact with your partner. Many individuals do not understand how their actions and communication patterns influence their partner’s responses and behaviors. Having an awareness of your own patterns in your relationship and a willingness to make small changes can create real, lasting change in your relationship. In addition, the individual work you do and the growth you experience may influence your partner to seek therapy for themselves.

In our sessions we will work with you on your individual goals, offer care and support as you work to improve your relationship at home. Using a strength-based approach we will identify your strengths and how they have assisted you in recovering from challenging experiences in the past. Using an optimistic and collaborative approach we will help you to develop insights into your patterns in your relationships and how those patterns impact you and your relationship. Together we can help you develop strategies to be the best partner that you can be in your relationship.

You may feel all alone as you think about tackling the struggles in your relationship without your partner. With the help of an experienced Alkira therapist, you will have the support you need to deal with the challenges in your relationships in a meaningful, lasting way.

You have the ability to grow and change for yourself. While you can’t control and change your partner, you can develop insights into how you influence your partner’s feelings, responses and behaviors. Small changes can create big impacts in relationships. With help and support, you can develop the tools you need to help identify and heal harmful patterns in relationships.

But you may still be unsure about couples counseling when your partner won’t attend…

I heard that therapy is expensive…

Therapy is an investment in your health and well-being. Stress can impact your health in many different ways. Developing new healthy strategies and patterns for yourself may not only influence your relationship, but your ability to maintain healthy patterns and lower your stress as well. Taking time for yourself to heal and grow can help you avoid potentially more damaging patterns in the future.

At Alkira, we are dedicated to make therapy affordable for everyone. We offer sliding scale pricing based on income for those who have insurance that will not cover. Please inquire.

It is not fair I have to go to couples counseling alone…

You may feel that your partner not attending couples counseling with you is unfair. Even if your partner does not want to seek couples counseling, you still can. You can be fair and good to yourself by seeking out therapy in order to lower your stress and pain from the relationship problems. We understand that making this decision can be very scary. We are committed to creating a compassionate and confidential environment for you to work through whatever issues come up.

What if therapy makes things worse…

Not getting help now will increase the chances that your relationship struggles will get worse in the future. The patterns you have are most likely to continue unless you are able to gain awareness and develop new skills. As you make changes in your own life, your relationship is likely to go through change as well. Therapy puts you in a place where you can have a greater understanding of yourself and can make decisions that can have a positive, lasting influence on your relationship.

You Have the Power to Grow as an Individual and in Your Relationship

If you would like to schedule an appointment or discuss any questions you may have regarding couples counseling or how to proceed when your partner does not wish to attend, we are available at 315-492-1390 or We return all calls and emails within 24 business hours.