Do You Feel Like Your Anger is Getting Out of Control?


  • Is your anger beginning to impact those around you in a negative way?
  • Are you afraid of how you behave when you’re angry?
  • Is your anger getting you in trouble at work, school, or home?

It can be scary and uncomfortable when you feel like you have lost control of your anger.  Not only does it impact your close family and friends, but it can seep into many other aspects of your life, causing tremendous amounts of damage. You might be less patient with your kids, or speak to co-workers or your boss sharply, risking write ups or being fired. Your understanding of your anger may be fairly new, or it may be something you’ve struggled with most of your life. However your anger began, over time you may begin to feel trapped by it, like there is no way around it.

Battling anger for so long may have distorted your perception on what a healthy expression of anger is. It may not be helpful to hear from others that you should just, “stop being so angry,” or, “learn to control it.”  We all learn to manage behaviors and emotions in certain ways, and over time they can become a habit. Those learned patterns can be extremely difficult to break. It can be particularly challenging and frustrating to have to re-learn how to maneuver the powerful emotion of anger.

Anger is Necessary for Us to Function

Anger is one of the common emotions that everyone experiences, and it can help motivate you to take action and address upsetting situations. Anger becomes an issue, however, when it no longer is something you can control. When our anger gets out of control it can quickly become destructive.  It is common for those with anger problems to have the need to physically expel it from their bodies. Many individuals go through situations that cause them to yell, hit or throw things. For example, an argument with your partner might get out of control. Or your son or daughter may back talk so much that you lose it. When these things happen, your relationships can be jeopardized. There are many healthy ways to manage your anger that, when utilized, can prevent harm to yourself and others.

Anger Management Can Help You Get Back in Control

Anger is not something to be ashamed of; after all, we all experience it. There are many useful tools that can be learned to help in your anger management. Our therapists understand the importance of anger in our lives and will encourage you to express your anger while implementing boundaries and guidelines that allow you to do so in a healthy manner. Anger is often seen as a negative emotion in society and, because of that, it is often not accepted. Our therapists create a non-judgmental space for you to feel comfortable expressing the anger that you feel you have to keep repressed.

In our sessions, we will work together to help you gain a better understanding of your anger. We will explore the history of anger and when it became a problem. We will highlight what triggers your anger and find alternative methods to soothe those aggressive tendencies. If you are concerned about how anger is impacting your family, we will also explore how anger may be manifested in your family system. We will address the role of anger and seek to understand the place it holds in the family. Our anger management therapists will help you to create a healthy, functional relationship with anger.

We will assess areas that you excel in when it comes to anger management and find ways to implement those strategies into all aspects of your life. Often, we become so focused on the negative or difficult things in our lives that we forget to focus on what is going right. By highlighting the times that you were able to take charge of your anger, and exploring alternative methods of anger management, you will begin to shift from feeling like a prisoner to your anger to feeling free and in control. An important understanding that we hope to instill in our clients is that anger is not bad. Anger can be expressed in a healthy way. Your therapist will work with you on creating a healthy relationship with your anger.

But you still may have questions about anger management…

Do I really need therapy for my anger? I’ve managed it in the past.

Often times, our problems resurface until they are finally worked through. This may be the case for your anger. Your anger is a symptom to a problem you are experiencing. By only implementing coping strategies, you are covering your wound with a Band-Aid, so to speak.  At Alkira, your therapist will help you uncover the hidden problem, or root cause, behind your anger. You can learn to shift this challenge into a more productive role in your life, while developing the strategies you need to identify signs and triggers, implement calming strategies and maintain progress.

I know I need help but I am worried that anger management counseling will be too expensive.

At Alkira, we strive to make our services affordable to everyone. If your insurance will not cover the fee, or if you choose to pay out of pocket, we offer a sliding scale fee based on annual gross household income.  We are willing to work with you to make services affordable to you. If you have further questions regarding fees, please contact us at (315) 492-1390.

My anger has hurt my family, child, and/or loved one. Would I be able to incorporate them into treatment?

It can be healing to have structured conversations with your family in a safe space about ways in which they may have been affected by your anger. We encourage family members to join sessions, so long as we have the approval of the client. Your therapist can direct you on how to approach this with your family when you feel you are in a place to make amends.

Your Anger Does Not Have to Control You

If you would like to schedule an appointment or discuss any questions you may have regarding anger management, we are available at (315) 492-1390 or We return all calls and emails within 24 business days.