Are You Suffering Because of Infidelity in Your Relationship?


  • Are you hurting, angry, confused, sad or hopeless about life because your partner had an affair?
  • Has an affair you had left you feeling confused, guilty, sad or even angry with yourself or your partner?
  • Does it seem unrealistic that your relationship can survive, let alone thrive, after infidelity in your relationship?

The discovery of an affair can be one of the most devastating experiences of your life. Your trust has been shattered and you may find it hard to eat, sleep and think. For the first time you see your partner as a stranger determined to hurt you. Perhaps you have started to wonder if your whole relationship has been a lie, contemplating how you missed the “signs” that your partner was being unfaithful.

Alternately, you may be the one feeling guilty for hurting your partner. You may become confused, defensive or ashamed, even if you never intended for the affair to happen. Part of you might desire reconciling, but another feels hopeless and wants to retreat to the temporary appeal an affair may carry. Regardless of your position, you may be concerned about the future of your relationship and how it will affect your family. Healing from an affair can be difficult, and you may become discouraged or even angry about how long it’s taking to restore trust.

Many Couples Face Issues of Infidelity in Their Relationship

Affairs often begin as a reaction to something that triggered a change in your relationship. This may involve a death in the family, new pressure at work or a change in your living situation. After a number of years some couples can become complacent about the emotional and physical health of their relationship. Or perhaps endless arguments over problems like sex, parenting or money has created a rift between you. This can contribute to one of you ‘giving up’ and allowing a third party to fill the role your partner used to fill.

Studies suggest as high as 40-percent of individuals will engage in extramarital sex or an emotional affair at some point. Infidelity can place severe strain on a marriage or committed relationship. While infidelity can lead to divorce or the end of a relationship, many couples are able to repair the bond they share, even reporting feeling stronger as a result. Whether the relationship survives or not, an affair changes everything.

Sex addiction can also drive a person’s need for affairs. If you feel a repeated need for sexual connection with others while you are in a committed relationship – or if you have noticed this in your partner – you may be struggling with an obsessive, compulsive problem or addiction. Learn more about sex therapy at Alkira, whether individually or part of couples or marriage counseling.

Working on repairing your relationship after an affair will be one of the hardest things you ever have to do. The good news, however, is that with the help of compassionate, experienced couples or marriage counseling you can start to heal the trauma of an affair and begin rebuilding trust, honesty and closeness with your partner.

Therapy Can Help You and Your Relationship Heal After an Affair

All couples face challenges in their relationships, and the Marriage and Family Therapists at Alkira have dealt with the issues you are facing. We are not general therapists who also work with couples; we are couples therapists. We combine our extensive training and experience in couples therapy and marriage counseling with a hopeful, optimistic approach. Our therapists specialize in helping couples get on the right path by exploring ways of healing, rebuilding trust and restoring intimacy following affairs and infidelity.

In our sessions, we will meet with you, your partner and possibly the two of you together. You may think you and your partner will never have another normal interaction because the affair consumes your relationship. For those that had the affair, this may frustrate you and feed your need to get away. Alkira therapists know how to help you relate to each other in ways that promote the return of ‘normal’ conversation, while helping you define the root problem and the issues it has presented.

We will explore the current crisis or event surrounding the breach in your relationship. We will work with you individually and as a couple to facilitate agreement about the problem. Once you have agreed about what the breach is, we help you learn how to deal with the pain of the affair, develop healthier communication and sort out your willingness to recommit.

Although it may seem unrealistic now, research shows the majority of relationships can survive infidelity, provided the affair is ended and both partners are willing to commit to healing through relationship or marriage counseling. We can support you in learning how to protect your relationship from infidelity in the future and create the kind of emotional bond and connection you want and deserve. We will support both of you, or you individually, while you work through the complex feelings you are experiencing. You no longer have to carry this heavy burden alone.

But You May Still Have Questions About Therapy for Infidelity or Affairs…

Is There a Typical Timeline for Recovery From Infidelity?

Unfortunately, there is no concrete timeline for recovery from infidelity or an affair.  The length of time it takes to recover from infidelity is directly impacted by what happens immediately after the affair is discovered. Other factors influencing the recovery process include each partner’s communication skills, tolerance for conflict, capacity for honesty and acceptance of personal responsibility. Just as every relationship is distinct from every other, the process of recovering from infidelity through relationship or marriage counseling will vary from one couple to another.

What Are Other Benefits from Couples or Marriage Counseling After Infidelity or an Affair?

Our therapists can help you heal from the hurt, pain and guilt in order to feel happier, safer and more secure in your current or future relationships. You may be able to rekindle emotional and physical closeness with your partner. You will learn the skills you need to develop healthy boundaries that will protect you in your relationships. You will learn what triggered you to breach your relationship and by understanding this, you can become the person you want to be. Finally, when you learn how to stop the old destructive patterns in your relationship that kept you apart, you can build a healthier, fulfilling bond with your partner.

How Can We Recover from Such a Huge Breach in Trust? Maybe the Love is Just Gone…

We have repeatedly heard “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” People tend to believe that they cannot fall back in love with their partner. From here it is incredibly easy to breach your relationship. We use a variety of methods, including books and homework out of session, to help you begin rebuilding the trust in your relationship. Or perhaps you discover you can’t heal your relationship, but the two of you are determined to get along because of parenting or work commitments. In either case relationship or marriage counseling can help you create healthier future relationships.

You Can Grow Regardless of Infidelity

If you would like to schedule an appointment or discuss questions you have regarding individual, couples or marriage counseling for infidelity and affairs, we are available at 315 492-1390 or We return all calls and emails within 24 business hours and typically schedule a first appointment within one week.